If "congratulations" is such an exciting expression, than why would I hesitate to respond? Yes, I understand it's the natural thing to say when someone introduces a new child, but it's a bit different for foster parents. And well, as experienced foster parents with multiple cases that resulted in both reunification and adoption, we now know better what we were in for. So in the seconds, before I responded with the proper "thank you", I thought to myself something like, "if you only knew what we just signed up for."
Then I started to feel guilty about that uncertain "thank you" I spoke. Let me clarify... I am absolutely grateful for the kind expression, it's just that this road is hard and receiving a child into our home is only just the starting line. It's the beginning of an emotional roller coaster with a lots of mental and physical sacrifice. It's more than just caring for a child; it's taking her to weekly visits with the biological family, it's showing up to court hearings to stay informed, it's welcoming into your home every month a case manager and (if you are blessed enough to have one appointed for the child) a guardian ad litem. If the above excluded people and their attitudes, it could be a challenge more of us would accept. But, I ain't gonna lie to you my friend. There is drama... and sadness; it requires some wisdom and compassion and perseverance.
Through God's eyes, it is easy to fall in love with a child. That being said, the possibility of eventually having to part ways is very scaring. But what faith would we have if we let that selfish fear keep us from loving and helping families in crisis?
The good news is God promises to equip us (Hebrews 13:21) and I believe what He has written. As Christians, we have to pray and trust that God's perfect love will cast out our fear (1 John 4:18). We must choose to love without reservation, for the sake of others and not for our own interest or desired outcome. So if you are congratulating us for being crazy enough to accept this challenge to care for children in the foster care system, then I genuinely thank you. I ask you to please pray for us and other foster parents; pray that our eyes would always be on the Father who loves selflessly and unconditionally. Lastly and most importantly, I challenge you to ask yourself what area of your life is requiring you to trust God to cast away your fear. What new level is He calling you to press through?
