On a leisurely Sunday with family, I held in my arms my little three month old nephew. He was a little whiny as he struggled to go back to sleep, so for over fifth-teen minutes, I patiently rocked him. Then out of nowhere, his whimpering turned into loud cries. I knew these were hunger cries and his momma confirmed it when she said, "no, this can't be, I just fed you!" I tired to see if I can pacify him for a little longer, but he was not having it! In a matter of seconds, his cries turned into a desperate scream; it sounded like he was in serious pain. I rocked him for a little longer to give my sister, who was only a few feet away, some time to wash her hands before nursing him again. Then it hit me so hard... that as painful as his hunger might be in this short moment, this precious boy has a mom who is running to feed him, his every need is being cared for. But how many children in third world countries cry for hours, until they tire and can cry no longer? How many children in the United States of American cry, but go without care? This thought was unbearable to me. I began to weep as I saw the faces of neglected and abused children right here in our city.
My consolation, in that moment of painful empathy, was knowing that our home will soon be filled with joy: joy in our hearts and joy in that of our adopted children who will be given a chance at a life much different from the one they could have.
We have prayed for our children for the greater part of our married life. Over the last few years, the Lord has made it clear to everyone in our family that His will is for us to adopt first. This has not been an easy journey by far as there were many obstacles in our way including a "never ending" short sale that, thankfully, is now behind us. We did our part and took our foster/adoption course, started several tedious applications and made the move to prepare for our home study. So much paper work! I couldn't tell you my frustration at the thought that adoption is way harder than getting pregnant! But, this week, we finally got an agency to schedule our home study and that is another confirmation that my God has heard my cry.
I know there are other cries He's been consoling. God showed me this with the last question in one of the applications, specifically about the health condition of the child we are willing to adopt. The options are:
"A premature child (under 4 lbs at birth)
No prenatal care
A child with a corrective disability or birth defect
A child with a genetic disorder or birth defect
A child conceived as a result of incest
A child conceived as a result of rape
A healthy child with a family background of genetic problems or birth defects"
The night I read those questions, God took me from my own pain through the pain of the children in orphanages (that I've long been praying for) and right to the sufferings of the birth families. I had never considered the birth mother's story as deeply as I did that night. I was torn to pieces.
This morning, God gently woke me up to pray for the mother of our child. I prayed that she would find strength in her struggle. I prayed for healing, not just in her body but also deep down in her soul; for forgiveness and love to cover her pain. I pray she finds the hope in God, the promise of a good life under His care no matter how terrible of a life it's been to date. I pray she finds comfort in knowing that our sweet Savior hears our cries and that He is able to turn our sorrow into joy.
The journey hasn't been easy and I don't know the details of how this story ends, but I trust my God- I know He hears us when we call...
