I’ve seen movies and I’ve heard rumors about so & so
sleeping with so & so, but I didn’t really believe any of it was real. I’ve just ignored this whole idea of sex for
success. But, it’s now become my
business… I cannot just ignore it!
I am very vocal about how genuinely happy of a wife I am,
but I’ve learned that doesn’t stop every male.
I have actually straight up had to call men out on their advances. The reactions have been mixed: The most respectful was apologetic and
embarrassed. The most cowardly was
denial and accusative. The most recent
was just fresh!
I was stunned by this man because for the last several years
he has been in a position as a professional resource and help to my office. I was confused and could not understand what
gave him the right. I was livid! I wanted to know what the heck I said or did
that would make him think he could even ask to kiss me. I was so insulted; I didn’t really think it
through before I called him. I asked him
if I was unprofessional or did something to lead him on. His response was nonchalant. How dare he simply say, “it’s no big
deal”, “I want you to be at
peace”!? I just don’t understand the
audacity!
My anger turned into pain.
That evening I replayed the scene, and although I knew I had done nothing
wrong, I was led to question myself. How
much more professional do I have to be?
(Should I be less kind, less joyful and become more hardened & rough?) Do I wear trench coats to work? Once I snapped out of that train of thought, my
perspective shifted to others. I began
to grieve for the women who may have fallen into this sick trap. I wondered how many times he has gotten away
with this and how did he leave those women feeling? How does a woman recover from falling prey
to such a lustful scheme?
The questions kept coming:
Are women really expected to continue a professional relationship after
a man insults our integrity?!
What leads a man with authority to misuse it?
How can a man be so shameless and ready to corrupt a home?
Is his mind so weak that he could not resist his body’s urges?
This woman will never let meaningless sex harm the beauty
& pure love in my marriage bed. I credit
my faith for my self-respect and thank God for my husband and my father who
prove there are men of honor. I have
strength & wisdom to resist the foolish notion of sex for success, but am
saddened that this happens more often than I want to hear about it. So I write to men and women alike reminding
you that this is deeper than just the physical.
I cannot believe that the perversion
of your body & soul is something you will just be at peace with. I encourage us to ask ourselves, What is
going on in the heart? Why are we so
afraid to treat the matter at its root?
Ladies, if you find yourself in this situation,
1.
don’t wait, tell a responsible wise woman. Bringing the situation to light will protect
you & give you an avenue to process it.
2.
If you are married, tell your husband. It’s not going to be easy for him, but you’ll
need each other to process the attempted invasion. Your marriage will be stronger after
overcoming this.
3. If the incident has occurred in the work place,
tell your supervisor or someone in authority.
Your voice could help someone else.
4. Don’t dwell on it or try to understand the mind
of a pervert. File it away and draw
strength & wisdom from the experience.
