Sweet Jesus Joy!

   The longer I live, the more pain I see.  As the wife of a minister and a housing developer for the formerly homeless in South Florida, I have witnessed many happy & triumphal moments, but I have also witnessed some incredibly dreadful blows.  More recently I’ve delved deeper into the foster care world…I must confess, it’s challenged me to trust God from the bottom of my heart and not to try to figure out everything on my own. These precious children have done no wrong, but have, at such a tender age, suffered more than most of us could imagine.  Pain does not discriminate and this truth deeply saddens me.

   It is in those moments, that I have to steer my eyes back to the God I’ve looked to for almost two decades.  I have to remind myself that my loving Father, that God, never intended for us to drown in unbearable pain.  If I give up the fight to hold on to what I know is true, I will not be able to see beyond the fog that is caused by pain and onto the promises He’s written in His Word for me.    And so the warrior in me asserts that this lukewarmness is unacceptable.  I decide!

   Then a few simple, yet powerful verses jump to mind: “this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it” & “the joy of the Lord is my strength” and “Rejoice in the Lord always”.   I thought I knew what joy is and what these verses really mean.   But, do I understand what God is telling me through His word?   (or the even harder question) Do I believe what is written or is my faith conditioned by circumstance?  

   In the mist of this doubt, one thing that was clear to me was that I did not want to ever live a day without joy: that's what I decided!  For some time now, I have prayed to God to show me what He means by “delight yourself in the Lord”.  More importantly, I asked God to show me how to get to and stay in that state.  And there began my battle to maintain my “Sweet Jesus Joy! ™”

   I uttered the words “Sweet Jesus Joy™” and in time, the depth and beauty of its meaning became clear.   Sweet Jesus Joy™ is perfect delight made constant by Jesus; it is complete in every situation.  Sweet Jesus Joy™ is a true contentment for the most painful times; for the sorrowful seasons which can profoundly mark even the strongest soul and rattle off course the most meticulous planner. 

  Sweet Jesus Joy™ is accessible to us whenever we choose to abide in it.  It comes from a place of love; a place of knowing the trueness of the one who loves you the purest and believing just enough to step out and love Him in return, even when you don’t understand the suffering.  We can & often bury it among other contents of our hearts.  But, as long as we acknowledge the love from which this Sweet Jesus Joy™ comes and the power & truth behind it, it will always rise above any deeply embedded emotion that battles for our life.  

Sweet Jesus Joy™ is a decision that most often requires endurance, but it is always worth fighting for.  It is a sweet gift that remains constant even when we are fragile.  I choose to live everyday in Sweet Jesus Joy™ while I trust Him to gently carry me through.

Sex for Success?

I’ve seen movies and I’ve heard rumors about so & so sleeping with so & so, but I didn’t really believe any of it was real.  I’ve just ignored this whole idea of sex for success.  But, it’s now become my business… I cannot just ignore it!

I am very vocal about how genuinely happy of a wife I am, but I’ve learned that doesn’t stop every male.  I have actually straight up had to call men out on their advances.  The reactions have been mixed:  The most respectful was apologetic and embarrassed.   The most cowardly was denial and accusative.  The most recent was just fresh! 

I was stunned by this man because for the last several years he has been in a position as a professional resource and help to my office.  I was confused and could not understand what gave him the right.  I was livid!  I wanted to know what the heck I said or did that would make him think he could even ask to kiss me.   I was so insulted; I didn’t really think it through before I called him.  I asked him if I was unprofessional or did something to lead him on.  His response was nonchalant.   How dare he simply say, “it’s no big deal”,   “I want you to be at peace”!?   I just don’t understand the audacity!

My anger turned into pain.  That evening I replayed the scene, and although I knew I had done nothing wrong, I was led to question myself.   How much more professional do I have to be?   (Should I be less kind, less joyful and become more hardened & rough?)  Do I wear trench coats to work?  Once I snapped out of that train of thought, my perspective shifted to others.  I began to grieve for the women who may have fallen into this sick trap.   I wondered how many times he has gotten away with this and how did he leave those women feeling?   How does a woman recover from falling prey to such a lustful scheme?

 The questions kept coming:

Are women really expected to continue a professional relationship after a man insults our integrity?!  

What leads a man with authority to misuse it?

How can a man be so shameless and ready to corrupt a home?

Is his mind so weak that he could not resist his body’s urges?

This woman will never let meaningless sex harm the beauty & pure love in my marriage bed.   I credit my faith for my self-respect and thank God for my husband and my father who prove there are men of honor.   I have strength & wisdom to resist the foolish notion of sex for success, but am saddened that this happens more often than I want to hear about it.   So I write to men and women alike reminding you that this is deeper than just the physical.   I cannot believe that the perversion of your body & soul is something you will just be at peace with.  I encourage us to ask ourselves, What is going on in the heart?  Why are we so afraid to treat the matter at its root?

Ladies, if you find yourself in this situation,

1.     don’t wait, tell a responsible wise woman.   Bringing the situation to light will protect you & give you an avenue to process it.  

2.      If you are married, tell your husband.   It’s not going to be easy for him, but you’ll need each other to process the attempted invasion.  Your marriage will be stronger after overcoming this.

3.      If the incident has occurred in the work place, tell your supervisor or someone in authority.  Your voice could help someone else.

4.    Don’t dwell on it or try to understand the mind of a pervert.  File it away and draw strength & wisdom from the experience.