He Hears

On a leisurely Sunday with family, I held in my arms my little three month old nephew.  He was a little whiny as he struggled to go back to sleep, so for over fifth-teen minutes, I patiently rocked him. Then out of nowhere,  his whimpering turned into loud cries.  I knew these were hunger cries and his momma confirmed it when she said, "no, this can't be, I just fed you!"  I tired to see if I can pacify him for a little longer, but he was not having it! In a matter of seconds, his cries turned into a desperate scream; it sounded like he was in serious pain.  I rocked him for a little longer to give my sister, who was only a few feet away, some time to wash her hands before nursing him again. Then it hit me so hard... that as painful as his hunger might be in this short moment, this precious boy has a mom who is running to feed him, his every need is being cared for. But how many children in third world countries cry for hours, until they tire and can cry no longer?  How many children in the United States of American cry, but go without care?  This thought was unbearable to me.  I began to weep as I saw the faces of neglected and abused children right here in our city.  

My consolation, in that moment of painful empathy, was knowing that our home will soon be filled with joy: joy in our hearts and joy in that of our adopted children who will be given a chance at a life much different from the one they could have. 

We have prayed for our children for the greater part of our married life.  Over the last few years, the Lord has made it clear to everyone in our family that His will is for us to adopt first. This has not been an easy journey by far as there were many obstacles in our way including a "never ending" short sale that, thankfully, is now behind us. We did our part and took our foster/adoption course, started several tedious applications and made the move to prepare for our home study.  So much paper work!  I couldn't tell you my frustration at the thought that adoption is way harder than getting pregnant!  But, this week, we finally got an agency to schedule our home study and that is another confirmation that my God has heard my cry. 

I know there are other cries He's been consoling.  God showed me this with the last question in one of the applications, specifically about the health condition of the child we are willing to adopt.  The options are:
"A premature child (under 4 lbs at birth)
No prenatal care
A child with a corrective disability or birth defect
A child with a genetic disorder or birth defect
A child conceived as a result of incest
A child conceived as a result of rape
A healthy child with a family background of genetic problems or birth defects"

The night I read those questions, God took me from my own pain through the pain of the children in orphanages (that I've long been praying for) and right to the sufferings of the birth families.  I had never considered the birth mother's story as deeply as I did that night. I was torn to pieces. 

This morning, God gently woke me up to pray for the mother of our child. I prayed that she would find strength in her struggle.  I prayed for healing, not just in her body but also deep down in her soul; for forgiveness and love to cover her pain. I pray she finds the hope in God, the promise of a good life under His care no matter how terrible of a life it's been to date.  I pray she finds comfort in knowing that our sweet Savior hears our cries and that He is able to turn our sorrow into joy.  

The journey hasn't been easy and I don't know the details of how this story ends, but I trust my God- I know He hears us when we call...

Sweet Jesus Joy!

   The longer I live, the more pain I see.  As the wife of a minister and a housing developer for the formerly homeless in South Florida, I have witnessed many happy & triumphal moments, but I have also witnessed some incredibly dreadful blows.  More recently I’ve delved deeper into the foster care world…I must confess, it’s challenged me to trust God from the bottom of my heart and not to try to figure out everything on my own. These precious children have done no wrong, but have, at such a tender age, suffered more than most of us could imagine.  Pain does not discriminate and this truth deeply saddens me.

   It is in those moments, that I have to steer my eyes back to the God I’ve looked to for almost two decades.  I have to remind myself that my loving Father, that God, never intended for us to drown in unbearable pain.  If I give up the fight to hold on to what I know is true, I will not be able to see beyond the fog that is caused by pain and onto the promises He’s written in His Word for me.    And so the warrior in me asserts that this lukewarmness is unacceptable.  I decide!

   Then a few simple, yet powerful verses jump to mind: “this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it” & “the joy of the Lord is my strength” and “Rejoice in the Lord always”.   I thought I knew what joy is and what these verses really mean.   But, do I understand what God is telling me through His word?   (or the even harder question) Do I believe what is written or is my faith conditioned by circumstance?  

   In the mist of this doubt, one thing that was clear to me was that I did not want to ever live a day without joy: that's what I decided!  For some time now, I have prayed to God to show me what He means by “delight yourself in the Lord”.  More importantly, I asked God to show me how to get to and stay in that state.  And there began my battle to maintain my “Sweet Jesus Joy! ™”

   I uttered the words “Sweet Jesus Joy™” and in time, the depth and beauty of its meaning became clear.   Sweet Jesus Joy™ is perfect delight made constant by Jesus; it is complete in every situation.  Sweet Jesus Joy™ is a true contentment for the most painful times; for the sorrowful seasons which can profoundly mark even the strongest soul and rattle off course the most meticulous planner. 

  Sweet Jesus Joy™ is accessible to us whenever we choose to abide in it.  It comes from a place of love; a place of knowing the trueness of the one who loves you the purest and believing just enough to step out and love Him in return, even when you don’t understand the suffering.  We can & often bury it among other contents of our hearts.  But, as long as we acknowledge the love from which this Sweet Jesus Joy™ comes and the power & truth behind it, it will always rise above any deeply embedded emotion that battles for our life.  

Sweet Jesus Joy™ is a decision that most often requires endurance, but it is always worth fighting for.  It is a sweet gift that remains constant even when we are fragile.  I choose to live everyday in Sweet Jesus Joy™ while I trust Him to gently carry me through.

The Joy of Perseverance

As posted by Pastor Steve Alessi on 8 - Aug.   http://alessisangle.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-joy-of-perserverance.html

My first introduction to Cuba was walking out of the Jose Marti Airport and seeing an older lady in the crowd of people waiting outside of arrivals, holding a young man tight in her arms as she wept and would not let him go. I wondered how long it had been since she last saw her loved one and how many years did she pray for this reunion?

Do you remember the first time someone told you to be happy when things go wrong? We probably hear it more often than we take note of and in different ways such as “don’t’ worry, be happy” or “think positive”. Over the years, I've tried to keep that kind of bright outlook about life.  I could call it the fighter in me, yet I know it’s the faith in me that makes me a fighter.  Every day I DECIDE to stand by the truth in the Word of God regardless of my situation or feelings. 

  

Yes, that’s easier said than done; especially when you read verses such as this in the Bible; “consider it pure joy whenever we face trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2-3).  Whaaat!?  I'm having a hard enough time with the trials coming and having to persevere through them, but how could God test me? Especially when He knows what a test does to me! I’m sorry, but God would not put me through that kind of torture. He knows I get super nervous when I have to take a test. He knows that my heart races crazy fast, to the point that it feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest, causing my face to heat up and grow red blotches around my neck. No, I can’t believe God would be the one to give me a test. I just can’t wrap my human mind around that one, and that's why these verses really disturb me. I prefer to believe my trials come from the enemy. But, because I am certain that  God loves me and has a plan for my life, in obedience, I have set out to consider my test“pure joy” even if I am having to preserve longer than I ever thought I would. I'm confident He will see me through to victory so I can pass the test, because I believe what is written in Scripture.

These words in James came back to my mind while I was ministering in Cuba. The Cuban people have learned to persevere and the ones we were able to minister to choose to do so with pure joy. I thought the 7 years of trying to have a baby with my husband has been a long, long time, until I met a farmer whose Christian wife has been asking him to go to church with her and their children for about 10 years. That is a long time to love and serve God without her spouse. This wife has been praying for his salvation for years and probably never expected some Americans to end up on their farm in December 2010 to share God’s love with him. This past week, Metro Life returned to visit the same farmer with a brand new Bible for him and his persevering wife. I was so blessed to see God’s hand at work, as her long prayed petition was being answered through us, and she probably never imagined God sending an Italian Pastor with his mob from Miami to do so. Nevertheless, she’s lived out James 1:2-3 because she had not given up hope. Her prayers, love and actions have been preparing Osvaldo’s heart for our second visit and for his glorious surrender to our loving Savior.

A decade is a long time, but think about the pain of the woman with the issue of blood– she suffered with that for twelve years. Yet, she did not give up faith. She prepared to turn her faith into action when she decided to go into the crowd. She gave it another try and pushed through the crowd to touch the hem of Jesus’ cloak.  After twelve years of trial, she heard the Lord say “Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you.”

 

We may not know when or how God will answer our long prayed petition. Cuban families are still waiting to be reunited, they are still waiting to be free. We each have lifted the desires of our hearts to our able God and we will pray without ceasing as He says in His Word. But don’t for a second think that a season of waiting is a season without joy.  NOPE!  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3

So be intentional about living that passage out in your life, and remember to “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4) The beauty is that I find “pure joy” every time I decide to delight in the Lord, because I know He's giving me my heart’s desire.

Larry the Compassionate Guy

As posted on Alessi's Angle by Pastor Steve Alessi
http://alessisangle.blogspot.com/2012/12/larry-compassion-guy.html

Pastor Steve

5 - Dec

It was the story of NYPD Police Officer Larry DePrimo that inspired me this past week. If he could purchase a $100 pair of boots and thermal socks for John Harry who was homeless on the streets of New York City, then what could each of us do to make a difference in the lives of those who live around us?

In the spirit of generosity, I've asked our dear friend Paola Roman to share her perspective on the benefits of serving others. As VP of Housing Development for the non-profit affordable housing developer, Carrfour Supportive Housing, she brings to her position a compassion that drives her to serve even beyond her hours on the job. Here is her inspiring outlook on serving:

Once a month for the last year, I have been volunteering with Metro Life’s Project Love Ministry. I’ve served at the Miami Rescue Mission, His House Children’s Home, and even an international mission trip. On my last service day, I asked others why they do it. A few students were very honest to say it was a class requirement and they’d rather be in bed. Others didn’t really know why they serve. I wondered, is service a trained response? Is it a natural human desire that requires awakening?  

Service is more profound than what I can understand, perhaps because the heart of a servant is so complex and forever changing. I think it starts with the heart. For me it was a series of shocking realizations of injustices. Among the first was the stench of a human being laying on a cardboard box on a busy downtown street. They were always there, but one day I chose to see beyond my needs and was awakened to the pain around me. My confusion turned into anger, and with increased awareness of the hurt in this world, I eventually broke down into tears. I knew I could not stand by so I began to volunteer. To this day, my empathy does not allow me to live without taking action.

I believe this compassion for the suffering of others is the fundamental love that drives consistent service. While we may or may not fully understand the root of this love, the earnest desire to care for others grows as does our acceptance of His love. Serving can become overwhelming when you pour out love without refilling. But, God quickly showed me that we were never meant to carry the heavy burdens of this world. God taught me that His love is not only enough for me, but it is sufficient for others. His love truly is living water from a well that will never run dry. There is enough for my hurts and for that of my brethren. I can always go back and draw more of His great love to share with others for their time of trouble. I cannot describe the joy and satisfaction of seeing the power of love through service.

There is satisfaction in sharing this love with others, but my reward is found in Matthew 25:40 where Jesus says, “Truly I tell you, in so far as you did it for one of the least of these my brethren, you did it for Me.”  Knowing that serving others in love is serving the God who first loved me is an immeasurable reward. To love another purely to the point of service is to sow a seed of love that reaps more love and great joy; it’s eternal.  

So I urge you today to make a decision to serve, even train yourself if you have to. It may start off as work, but with time you’ll become addicted to the difference you will make as you love another with your service to them. Then, find a cause that you are passionate about. There is more need in our world than we know. Realize that when you serve with passion, it’s not work. And then align yourself with others who share the same love and interest. You would be surprised to learn you are not the only one concerned about this particular cause. And lastly, don’t wait for a “thank you” or an immediate impact. Just do it as an offering to God and know that your reward is an eternal treasure as consistent joyful service requires endless love.

Sex for Success?

I’ve seen movies and I’ve heard rumors about so & so sleeping with so & so, but I didn’t really believe any of it was real.  I’ve just ignored this whole idea of sex for success.  But, it’s now become my business… I cannot just ignore it!

I am very vocal about how genuinely happy of a wife I am, but I’ve learned that doesn’t stop every male.  I have actually straight up had to call men out on their advances.  The reactions have been mixed:  The most respectful was apologetic and embarrassed.   The most cowardly was denial and accusative.  The most recent was just fresh! 

I was stunned by this man because for the last several years he has been in a position as a professional resource and help to my office.  I was confused and could not understand what gave him the right.  I was livid!  I wanted to know what the heck I said or did that would make him think he could even ask to kiss me.   I was so insulted; I didn’t really think it through before I called him.  I asked him if I was unprofessional or did something to lead him on.  His response was nonchalant.   How dare he simply say, “it’s no big deal”,   “I want you to be at peace”!?   I just don’t understand the audacity!

My anger turned into pain.  That evening I replayed the scene, and although I knew I had done nothing wrong, I was led to question myself.   How much more professional do I have to be?   (Should I be less kind, less joyful and become more hardened & rough?)  Do I wear trench coats to work?  Once I snapped out of that train of thought, my perspective shifted to others.  I began to grieve for the women who may have fallen into this sick trap.   I wondered how many times he has gotten away with this and how did he leave those women feeling?   How does a woman recover from falling prey to such a lustful scheme?

 The questions kept coming:

Are women really expected to continue a professional relationship after a man insults our integrity?!  

What leads a man with authority to misuse it?

How can a man be so shameless and ready to corrupt a home?

Is his mind so weak that he could not resist his body’s urges?

This woman will never let meaningless sex harm the beauty & pure love in my marriage bed.   I credit my faith for my self-respect and thank God for my husband and my father who prove there are men of honor.   I have strength & wisdom to resist the foolish notion of sex for success, but am saddened that this happens more often than I want to hear about it.   So I write to men and women alike reminding you that this is deeper than just the physical.   I cannot believe that the perversion of your body & soul is something you will just be at peace with.  I encourage us to ask ourselves, What is going on in the heart?  Why are we so afraid to treat the matter at its root?

Ladies, if you find yourself in this situation,

1.     don’t wait, tell a responsible wise woman.   Bringing the situation to light will protect you & give you an avenue to process it.  

2.      If you are married, tell your husband.   It’s not going to be easy for him, but you’ll need each other to process the attempted invasion.  Your marriage will be stronger after overcoming this.

3.      If the incident has occurred in the work place, tell your supervisor or someone in authority.  Your voice could help someone else.

4.    Don’t dwell on it or try to understand the mind of a pervert.  File it away and draw strength & wisdom from the experience.

Make No Small Dream

Have you ever had a dream too overwhelming to share?    Lately, I’ve found myself surrounded by enormous dreams.  I’ve learned these dreams will never become reality if they are not shared with others who burn with the same passion.  

I now see how my passion and great love for humanity has put me in the community development path.  I have the privilege of playing a vital role in glorious dreams I didn’t even know I had, yet bringing them to life has absolutely always been my passion.   

As a college student, I had no idea what community development was nor, that it involved neighborhood, philanthropy, business and government.  I just knew I carried a heavy burden for people lacking opportunity to make their own dreams come true.  I thought I could change things by going into government and when I spoke of it, my political science professor and father discouraged it (another story, another blog).  Nevertheless, I continued my pursuit through housing, gaining experience and meeting people along the way, all with the goal of blessing those in crime ridden neighborhoods. 

Passion is like a seed that with bold action grows into a big dream.  As you work towards serving with passion, and out of love, you will grow and walk onto the right path.  I have become so involved in satiating my passion that I didn’t realize the dream which was planted and has been growing.   The growing pains were worth it; my drive to help others in their most vulnerable time has led me to the RIGHT PATH.

I’d summarize my formula for traveling the right path & finding yourself in no small dream is having:

1.      the right motives & sharing it with

2.      the right people of influence at

3.      the right place/environment at

4.      the right time.

We then arrive at this sublime nexus where passion & sweet labor are on the right path, the dream is not so overwhelming.  Selfless passion is covered by favor, which brings forth faith, which fuels our fight!  

Dreams are not so scary when they grow out of the everyday things that we are passionate about.  They develop as we grow in our skills and talents through our service.   If we travel on the right path, we’ll know when the dream is mature and we’ll be ready to take it on.   

Choose to make no small dream: Ask yourself what you're passionate about and if that passion is leading you onto the right path. 

Greater Than Any Challenge

“Dead man walking” is what the guys in the office used to say just before my co-worker tied the knot this spring.  Another co-worker casually refers to his wife as “Lucifer”.  Although I know they were being silly and having fun, I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret their words.  See, I believe that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  So I wondered.  Could they really feel so enslaved in their own marriages that they would call it death?  Was the wife’s treatment so miserable to be likened to Satan?  I doubt I’ll ever know the answers to that, but for the sake of all happy marriages and striving wives, I spoke up. 

As a wife about to celebrate my tenth wedding anniversary, I could not let someone even joke about marriage being death or his wife being his worst nightmare.  Marriage is by far, not easy, but I know it is one of the greatest gifts in my life.  I am not the perfect wife and my husband, although he comes pretty darn close to perfection, is not the perfect husband.  Our marriage has been fairly smooth and joyful, but not without trouble.  Every challenge and trial, as terribly painful as some have been, is worth enduring until victory; even the hard blows that leave us in each others arms with tears in our eyes and an open prayer to God Almighty. 

When the trouble hits and the pain becomes unbearable, the pressure too intense, our perspective can easily darken and bring forth more than just irritability and insensitivity.  If these emotions are not harnessed so that we can thoughtfully bring them to light with open and honest communication, they will eat the unity right out of a marriage.  I have vowed never to let that happen in mine.  I’ve learned that the rewards of staying united are worth the fight.

There are couples fighting not only to stay married, but to enjoy a united marriage, just as God designed it.  It is not an impossible mission, but good examples can be hard to come by.  That is why I am so thankful for Pastor Steve and Mary Alessi who, in their 25 years of marriage, provide the very real example of the fruit of commitment.  It is a promise open to all the brave husbands and wives who fight to stay true to their vows.    I encourage you to be brave just like ladies from the “Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” book club who joined me on an 8 week journey towards becoming better wives.  

As for me and my husband, we know that this wedding anniversary carries more uncertainty than any previous one, but we will remain strong in our walk with Christ, united in our love for each other and filled with joy and peace because of the hope we have in Him.  This October 19, we will celebrate the gift of genuine love and unity as joyfully as we have every other year because we know that our commitment to each other and God is greater than any challenge.