The Joy of Perseverance

As posted by Pastor Steve Alessi on 8 - Aug.   http://alessisangle.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-joy-of-perserverance.html

My first introduction to Cuba was walking out of the Jose Marti Airport and seeing an older lady in the crowd of people waiting outside of arrivals, holding a young man tight in her arms as she wept and would not let him go. I wondered how long it had been since she last saw her loved one and how many years did she pray for this reunion?

Do you remember the first time someone told you to be happy when things go wrong? We probably hear it more often than we take note of and in different ways such as “don’t’ worry, be happy” or “think positive”. Over the years, I've tried to keep that kind of bright outlook about life.  I could call it the fighter in me, yet I know it’s the faith in me that makes me a fighter.  Every day I DECIDE to stand by the truth in the Word of God regardless of my situation or feelings. 

  

Yes, that’s easier said than done; especially when you read verses such as this in the Bible; “consider it pure joy whenever we face trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2-3).  Whaaat!?  I'm having a hard enough time with the trials coming and having to persevere through them, but how could God test me? Especially when He knows what a test does to me! I’m sorry, but God would not put me through that kind of torture. He knows I get super nervous when I have to take a test. He knows that my heart races crazy fast, to the point that it feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest, causing my face to heat up and grow red blotches around my neck. No, I can’t believe God would be the one to give me a test. I just can’t wrap my human mind around that one, and that's why these verses really disturb me. I prefer to believe my trials come from the enemy. But, because I am certain that  God loves me and has a plan for my life, in obedience, I have set out to consider my test“pure joy” even if I am having to preserve longer than I ever thought I would. I'm confident He will see me through to victory so I can pass the test, because I believe what is written in Scripture.

These words in James came back to my mind while I was ministering in Cuba. The Cuban people have learned to persevere and the ones we were able to minister to choose to do so with pure joy. I thought the 7 years of trying to have a baby with my husband has been a long, long time, until I met a farmer whose Christian wife has been asking him to go to church with her and their children for about 10 years. That is a long time to love and serve God without her spouse. This wife has been praying for his salvation for years and probably never expected some Americans to end up on their farm in December 2010 to share God’s love with him. This past week, Metro Life returned to visit the same farmer with a brand new Bible for him and his persevering wife. I was so blessed to see God’s hand at work, as her long prayed petition was being answered through us, and she probably never imagined God sending an Italian Pastor with his mob from Miami to do so. Nevertheless, she’s lived out James 1:2-3 because she had not given up hope. Her prayers, love and actions have been preparing Osvaldo’s heart for our second visit and for his glorious surrender to our loving Savior.

A decade is a long time, but think about the pain of the woman with the issue of blood– she suffered with that for twelve years. Yet, she did not give up faith. She prepared to turn her faith into action when she decided to go into the crowd. She gave it another try and pushed through the crowd to touch the hem of Jesus’ cloak.  After twelve years of trial, she heard the Lord say “Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you.”

 

We may not know when or how God will answer our long prayed petition. Cuban families are still waiting to be reunited, they are still waiting to be free. We each have lifted the desires of our hearts to our able God and we will pray without ceasing as He says in His Word. But don’t for a second think that a season of waiting is a season without joy.  NOPE!  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3

So be intentional about living that passage out in your life, and remember to “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4) The beauty is that I find “pure joy” every time I decide to delight in the Lord, because I know He's giving me my heart’s desire.

Larry the Compassionate Guy

As posted on Alessi's Angle by Pastor Steve Alessi
http://alessisangle.blogspot.com/2012/12/larry-compassion-guy.html

Pastor Steve

5 - Dec

It was the story of NYPD Police Officer Larry DePrimo that inspired me this past week. If he could purchase a $100 pair of boots and thermal socks for John Harry who was homeless on the streets of New York City, then what could each of us do to make a difference in the lives of those who live around us?

In the spirit of generosity, I've asked our dear friend Paola Roman to share her perspective on the benefits of serving others. As VP of Housing Development for the non-profit affordable housing developer, Carrfour Supportive Housing, she brings to her position a compassion that drives her to serve even beyond her hours on the job. Here is her inspiring outlook on serving:

Once a month for the last year, I have been volunteering with Metro Life’s Project Love Ministry. I’ve served at the Miami Rescue Mission, His House Children’s Home, and even an international mission trip. On my last service day, I asked others why they do it. A few students were very honest to say it was a class requirement and they’d rather be in bed. Others didn’t really know why they serve. I wondered, is service a trained response? Is it a natural human desire that requires awakening?  

Service is more profound than what I can understand, perhaps because the heart of a servant is so complex and forever changing. I think it starts with the heart. For me it was a series of shocking realizations of injustices. Among the first was the stench of a human being laying on a cardboard box on a busy downtown street. They were always there, but one day I chose to see beyond my needs and was awakened to the pain around me. My confusion turned into anger, and with increased awareness of the hurt in this world, I eventually broke down into tears. I knew I could not stand by so I began to volunteer. To this day, my empathy does not allow me to live without taking action.

I believe this compassion for the suffering of others is the fundamental love that drives consistent service. While we may or may not fully understand the root of this love, the earnest desire to care for others grows as does our acceptance of His love. Serving can become overwhelming when you pour out love without refilling. But, God quickly showed me that we were never meant to carry the heavy burdens of this world. God taught me that His love is not only enough for me, but it is sufficient for others. His love truly is living water from a well that will never run dry. There is enough for my hurts and for that of my brethren. I can always go back and draw more of His great love to share with others for their time of trouble. I cannot describe the joy and satisfaction of seeing the power of love through service.

There is satisfaction in sharing this love with others, but my reward is found in Matthew 25:40 where Jesus says, “Truly I tell you, in so far as you did it for one of the least of these my brethren, you did it for Me.”  Knowing that serving others in love is serving the God who first loved me is an immeasurable reward. To love another purely to the point of service is to sow a seed of love that reaps more love and great joy; it’s eternal.  

So I urge you today to make a decision to serve, even train yourself if you have to. It may start off as work, but with time you’ll become addicted to the difference you will make as you love another with your service to them. Then, find a cause that you are passionate about. There is more need in our world than we know. Realize that when you serve with passion, it’s not work. And then align yourself with others who share the same love and interest. You would be surprised to learn you are not the only one concerned about this particular cause. And lastly, don’t wait for a “thank you” or an immediate impact. Just do it as an offering to God and know that your reward is an eternal treasure as consistent joyful service requires endless love.

Sex for Success?

I’ve seen movies and I’ve heard rumors about so & so sleeping with so & so, but I didn’t really believe any of it was real.  I’ve just ignored this whole idea of sex for success.  But, it’s now become my business… I cannot just ignore it!

I am very vocal about how genuinely happy of a wife I am, but I’ve learned that doesn’t stop every male.  I have actually straight up had to call men out on their advances.  The reactions have been mixed:  The most respectful was apologetic and embarrassed.   The most cowardly was denial and accusative.  The most recent was just fresh! 

I was stunned by this man because for the last several years he has been in a position as a professional resource and help to my office.  I was confused and could not understand what gave him the right.  I was livid!  I wanted to know what the heck I said or did that would make him think he could even ask to kiss me.   I was so insulted; I didn’t really think it through before I called him.  I asked him if I was unprofessional or did something to lead him on.  His response was nonchalant.   How dare he simply say, “it’s no big deal”,   “I want you to be at peace”!?   I just don’t understand the audacity!

My anger turned into pain.  That evening I replayed the scene, and although I knew I had done nothing wrong, I was led to question myself.   How much more professional do I have to be?   (Should I be less kind, less joyful and become more hardened & rough?)  Do I wear trench coats to work?  Once I snapped out of that train of thought, my perspective shifted to others.  I began to grieve for the women who may have fallen into this sick trap.   I wondered how many times he has gotten away with this and how did he leave those women feeling?   How does a woman recover from falling prey to such a lustful scheme?

 The questions kept coming:

Are women really expected to continue a professional relationship after a man insults our integrity?!  

What leads a man with authority to misuse it?

How can a man be so shameless and ready to corrupt a home?

Is his mind so weak that he could not resist his body’s urges?

This woman will never let meaningless sex harm the beauty & pure love in my marriage bed.   I credit my faith for my self-respect and thank God for my husband and my father who prove there are men of honor.   I have strength & wisdom to resist the foolish notion of sex for success, but am saddened that this happens more often than I want to hear about it.   So I write to men and women alike reminding you that this is deeper than just the physical.   I cannot believe that the perversion of your body & soul is something you will just be at peace with.  I encourage us to ask ourselves, What is going on in the heart?  Why are we so afraid to treat the matter at its root?

Ladies, if you find yourself in this situation,

1.     don’t wait, tell a responsible wise woman.   Bringing the situation to light will protect you & give you an avenue to process it.  

2.      If you are married, tell your husband.   It’s not going to be easy for him, but you’ll need each other to process the attempted invasion.  Your marriage will be stronger after overcoming this.

3.      If the incident has occurred in the work place, tell your supervisor or someone in authority.  Your voice could help someone else.

4.    Don’t dwell on it or try to understand the mind of a pervert.  File it away and draw strength & wisdom from the experience.

Make No Small Dream

Have you ever had a dream too overwhelming to share?    Lately, I’ve found myself surrounded by enormous dreams.  I’ve learned these dreams will never become reality if they are not shared with others who burn with the same passion.  

I now see how my passion and great love for humanity has put me in the community development path.  I have the privilege of playing a vital role in glorious dreams I didn’t even know I had, yet bringing them to life has absolutely always been my passion.   

As a college student, I had no idea what community development was nor, that it involved neighborhood, philanthropy, business and government.  I just knew I carried a heavy burden for people lacking opportunity to make their own dreams come true.  I thought I could change things by going into government and when I spoke of it, my political science professor and father discouraged it (another story, another blog).  Nevertheless, I continued my pursuit through housing, gaining experience and meeting people along the way, all with the goal of blessing those in crime ridden neighborhoods. 

Passion is like a seed that with bold action grows into a big dream.  As you work towards serving with passion, and out of love, you will grow and walk onto the right path.  I have become so involved in satiating my passion that I didn’t realize the dream which was planted and has been growing.   The growing pains were worth it; my drive to help others in their most vulnerable time has led me to the RIGHT PATH.

I’d summarize my formula for traveling the right path & finding yourself in no small dream is having:

1.      the right motives & sharing it with

2.      the right people of influence at

3.      the right place/environment at

4.      the right time.

We then arrive at this sublime nexus where passion & sweet labor are on the right path, the dream is not so overwhelming.  Selfless passion is covered by favor, which brings forth faith, which fuels our fight!  

Dreams are not so scary when they grow out of the everyday things that we are passionate about.  They develop as we grow in our skills and talents through our service.   If we travel on the right path, we’ll know when the dream is mature and we’ll be ready to take it on.   

Choose to make no small dream: Ask yourself what you're passionate about and if that passion is leading you onto the right path. 

Greater Than Any Challenge

“Dead man walking” is what the guys in the office used to say just before my co-worker tied the knot this spring.  Another co-worker casually refers to his wife as “Lucifer”.  Although I know they were being silly and having fun, I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret their words.  See, I believe that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  So I wondered.  Could they really feel so enslaved in their own marriages that they would call it death?  Was the wife’s treatment so miserable to be likened to Satan?  I doubt I’ll ever know the answers to that, but for the sake of all happy marriages and striving wives, I spoke up. 

As a wife about to celebrate my tenth wedding anniversary, I could not let someone even joke about marriage being death or his wife being his worst nightmare.  Marriage is by far, not easy, but I know it is one of the greatest gifts in my life.  I am not the perfect wife and my husband, although he comes pretty darn close to perfection, is not the perfect husband.  Our marriage has been fairly smooth and joyful, but not without trouble.  Every challenge and trial, as terribly painful as some have been, is worth enduring until victory; even the hard blows that leave us in each others arms with tears in our eyes and an open prayer to God Almighty. 

When the trouble hits and the pain becomes unbearable, the pressure too intense, our perspective can easily darken and bring forth more than just irritability and insensitivity.  If these emotions are not harnessed so that we can thoughtfully bring them to light with open and honest communication, they will eat the unity right out of a marriage.  I have vowed never to let that happen in mine.  I’ve learned that the rewards of staying united are worth the fight.

There are couples fighting not only to stay married, but to enjoy a united marriage, just as God designed it.  It is not an impossible mission, but good examples can be hard to come by.  That is why I am so thankful for Pastor Steve and Mary Alessi who, in their 25 years of marriage, provide the very real example of the fruit of commitment.  It is a promise open to all the brave husbands and wives who fight to stay true to their vows.    I encourage you to be brave just like ladies from the “Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” book club who joined me on an 8 week journey towards becoming better wives.  

As for me and my husband, we know that this wedding anniversary carries more uncertainty than any previous one, but we will remain strong in our walk with Christ, united in our love for each other and filled with joy and peace because of the hope we have in Him.  This October 19, we will celebrate the gift of genuine love and unity as joyfully as we have every other year because we know that our commitment to each other and God is greater than any challenge.  

Every Good Woman Wants…

I’ve been thinking much about men lately and it’s been intense; Motorcycles, Classic Cars & Muscle cars, oh my!

I volunteered to help work a silent auction at a men’s conference where signed & authenticated sports memorabilia was being sold to raise money for a Cuban minor league club. The biding was fierce and exciting to witness as grown men became generals, strategizing and waging a bidding war.  Yet, as fun as that was, the biggest gain for me was seeing the awakening of warriors!  Yup, I was in a room full of warriors. 

They seemed like ordinary men, but what I learned is that every ordinary man has, not only the potential, but the desire- a warrior inside.  And when that warrior knows how to direct his strength, it’s more than hot; it’s what every good woman wants!  Imagine several hundred GoodFellas at liberty to express the strength of the natural fighting champion that they were created to be.  Yet, wise enough to acknowledge the weakness of their humanness, the fragility of their humanity.  These husbands, fathers, brothers and comrades are warriors, men willing to fight for the truth, for their families, for their community!

A woman doesn’t need perfection; every good woman wants a man who strives to be like perfection.  Anyone who’s awake knows that this is not an easy life to live, but a warrior is at the forefront, leading his family at all times.    

A humble example comes to mind:

Pumping gas at a station in a part of town where the Area Medium Income is low-moderate, I heard jazz music.  I looked around for speakers, but instead found a young man wearing dreads and oversized shorts, sitting on a black rectangular case playing his saxophone.  To his right was a pretty small gold colored cloth.   Over it he placed a rose, a crystal like paper weight and a tall glass for tips.  It was not perfect music, nor was it a perfect set up; but what got my attention was that rather than surrendering to his joblessness, this warrior got creative with what he has and got up to battle that morning.  That is admirable! 

The warrior every good woman wants is the kind that gets up when life hits him hard:

·         with Courage to know when to move and when to be still

·         with Humility to call for reinforcements,

·         with Stamina to stay in the fight for as long as it takes,

·         with Wisdom to know where his help comes from,

·         & has the strength to see each through.

  A good woman chooses to commit to a man who has the courage and integrity to “do what is right when what is wrong is convenient”, (a quote from my warrior husband, David Roman) http://dromanroad.blogspot.com/2012/03/nepios-or-paidion-childish-or-child.html#comment-form.  

A Chosen Reputation

I never focus much on the past because I think we ought not to reflect on it more than we do on enjoying, and sometimes even just acknowledging the good that is today. Dwelling in the past distracts us from seeing how fulfilled we can be today.  If we stay in the past, we will cripple our progress. 

This week, however, I was led to reflect on its importance.  I was in a conference room, when the gentleman said, "let me start off by telling you about the history of our organization". He proceeded to tell me about all their failed attempts to change a community. Whoa...why is he speaking so negatively, I asked myself?  I held on for the point he was trying to make only to hear him admit that their reputation had stunted their growth.  Their efforts would not allow them to reach the heights required to effectuate the change that this community needs.  He went on to say that though his organization could not take the lead, they stood ready to support another's work.  He added, “this endeavor must be led by a fresh face, by an entity with a strong track record”.  I understood what he said and the truth in it, but this thought really had me going. 

I seriously believe in second chances, none of us are perfect; all of us can decide to and strive to be better in spite of our mistakes.  That's the core of the organization and mission that I serve.  My office has seen ex-felons persist until they get an inroad at a job; they prove themselves during the temporary construction work and earn a permanent maintenance job which leads to a new life. Transformations can and does take place.  I believe we can have within us what it takes to make a 180 degree turn. Our future can be greater than our past and present regardless of reputation; that’s how it should be.

Before taking control of your reputation, you must accept two truths:

As good as the future can be, before we can obtain the victory that awaits, we just have to come to terms with our current reputation.

While the effects of one’s reputation are real, they are surely not permanent- not unless you give consent. 

Understanding history will not only teach us what not to do, but also help us strategize a better approach towards the future.  Be very careful, however, that in researching and gathering the information, you do not lose yourself in what no longer is.  Don’t you dare disqualify what could be because of what was!  I am simply saying that we have to wise up.  Reputation is the beliefs or opinions generally held about someone or thing.  It is others’ belief that you have a specific pattern or characteristic and since you can change your habits and characteristics, your reputation should not define who you are.

It is just the opposite: you choose what you become!  Once you know who are, you take control of your actions and essentially choose your reputation. You can change; you can grow to the next level!  So whether it’s your person or your organization:

1.    identify your passion and desire,

2.    evaluate your strengths,

3.    collect information on the environment/the players & that which can compliment your weaknesses,

4.    devise a plan,

5.    own your strategy and

6.    make that change.

You wouldn’t be the first in history to choose your reputation.

A Softy with Thick Skin

A softy with thick skin

Looking back, I think it's kind of funny that I cried after my co-worker said I was too soft.  She was obviously surprised and even annoyed when she told me that I had to get a thicker skin if I was ever going to make it in real estate development.  Of course I was upset, but mostly because I was so soft I couldn't even handle someone telling me to get a thicker skin.

Today, I could be telling you she offended me, but the truth is she challenged me.  In that moment, I DECIDED that I would grow a thicker skin (whatever that meant)!  I'm glad I accepted that challenge.  She was right.  It sure is a tough business and as I dive deeper into this world of affordable housing and community development, I understand more clearly what my former co worker meant.  I gotta' say, I sincerely appreciate her unintended advise.

I survived the initiation into my career.  I can withstand criticism because I know who I am and who I want to become.  I can be unaffected by the needs and feelings of others because I am clear about what I stand for.  I believe that my success is dependent on more than just a thick skin.  I credit my survival in this tough business to my motives.  I didn't pursue real estate because I was seeking sales commissions or developer fees.  My motivation was everything that would come from a “softy”.  I was so moved by the homeless on the streets of Miami.  As a teenager, I asked myself: Why are human beings coming out to sleep on card board boxes when the sun sets? Why are the elderly pushing a dirty shopping cart down the street to nowhere?  Why are seemly healthy and able men pan handling on the side of the road?  That was just wrong and unbearable to my young mind.  I needed to figure out how to change that injustice.   My motivation towards real estate development was and always will be about serving the people!

I am convinced that it's not just about growing a thicker skin.  I believe it's also about fine-tuning your compassion, increasing your awareness of the pain around you and growing in wisdom while you strengthen your stamina to fight the good fight.  Why is there shame in having a heart?  Do not lose your compassion for the hurting. Do not lose your awareness of the wrong. No! Decide to channel that love for good.  Grow a thick skin and use it to kick butt fighting for the good of others! Be a part of making this world less mean and a little softer.

Who’s the victim?: Do justice, Love mercy

Just as I was about to start my college career, I had an instructor advise the new interns, “no pity parties!”  I was so empowered by that and I called upon those words when things got tough. 

In the last few weeks, this advice has resonated louder than ever before, especially as I spend more time in Overtown.  You can’t help to wonder about justice and mercy when you see the faces of the people walking the streets, some just laying against an uninhabited building.  You can see idleness, hopelessness, weariness, fearfulness; each soul carries a real story.   You don’t have to be empathetic to see pain. You may see people who are harmed or made to suffer from an act, circumstance, agency, or condition -victims, as the dictionary would define them.   Some residents would refer to themselves as victims.  

BUT, I am so pleased to say that there are some warriors in Overtown! People who will not throw a pity party, people who dare not call themselves victims!  Strong women, young and old, who are taking a stand to keep their homes safe, they are protecting their children from the drugs and gangs that pull their focus away from their studies, they are brave enough to speak up for what is right and prepare a legacy.   There still are dedicated police officers patrolling the streets of Overtown in pursuit of justice.  They risk their lives every day for the sake of the people striving to break the cycle of poverty.  There are still community leaders who stand ready do their part. 

Are you prepared to remove yourself from the “victim” category?  Are you prepared to do justice, love mercy?

The victory party begins with your decision!